Hoshnasi

“It was the pressure I felt that I remember most. Like sinking a leg into a cold rushing stream during a winter melt. It was numbing, painful and made me feel swollen all over.” Jonathan paused as though pulling words out of his mind and chewing on them.

“Don’t get me wrong I was scared as hell but I wasn’t cold. I just said that to explain the way you feel when your fingers and toes are swollen and your skin feels as though it will burst.”

“Out of all the carnage you witnessed its the feeling you got in your toes and fingers that you remember most? Wasen’t the piles and piles of bodies more alarming and searing to you memory?

“Dective please, you have to understand the nature of this nest. Its not like I fell through a crack and was shocked by the viceral sights. This desecrated space stretched for miles underground. The voracity of this infection was like nothing I had seen. In a fort night, Ostown was almost sunk into the decrepit sore festering below. It was so large and pervasive it had its own atmosphere, that to someone whom is familiar with such phenomena struck me.”

“But what of the towns folk? Some twenty strong men fell within this stretch of time to the infection.”

“They were ill-prepared the lot of them. The lack of information this far out of London is shocking to me. Then again, I am not convinced the towns people were not involved…”

“Mr. Bash you have no proof for such claims!”

“To your eyes of illegal items then true there is no proof. However, it is obvious that there were many symbols of the occult. Certain item in particular were recovered that outlined the perimeter of the underground from the very houses and crawl spaces of the village.”

**Thats all I got, I’m sitting in a board meeting and got bored.  Posted this on my TMobile G1, guess I’m getting back to bloging.

I haven’t had a zombie post in a while. So here we go!

I take issue with a few of the questions, but I think its pretty solid.

My first issue was the question over serrations or straight bladed knives. Looking back at the answers it is stated that a smooth blade is better for stabbing (which is true). However why are you stabbing zombies!? You need to cut their heads off.

Second is the value of the Axe over the katana. Axes have great strength and uses outside of zombie beheadings, but a katana is just more versatile in combat without loosing mobility of attack. A katana of a high quality can easily lop off zombie limbs, which prevents being grappled. Beheading, being the goal is hard to do in a mass of zombies swing there arms like flails.

Good quiz though. Props if you land a Z+ rating

When I am out on the town with friends and we start drinking I often bring up the topic of Zombie Contingency Plans.

In my mind, everyone has seen a zombie movie of some kind and I can only then assume that everyone who has seen a zombie movie has thought of what they would do in the situation of a zombie based apocalypse.

Often when confronted by this question some people are a little put off, citing “zombies aren’t real”. My fiance in particular asked me over a quite dinner out why I ask that dumb question. My reply was simple, “It lets me know how certain people will react to extreme situations when everything is FUBAR.”

Its been my long time belief that we as humans show our true character when we are confronted with situations that are completely out of our control. Like a zombie infestation.

So enough babbling. Here is my Zombie Contingency plan in list form numbered from least important to most. Starting at five.

5. Barricade material. Wood is fine, but really I like corrugated sheet metal. Its flexible and light, yet when bolted firmly to a house its super tough. It is also easy to transport in case you need to find a new safe house.

4. Wheels (transport), this becomes less important if your zombies are the vinatge shambling type. If they are fast as hell zombies from “Dawn of the Dead” I’d rate this a little higher. Transport is not as easy as one might think. Fast cars are great at getting away, but you can’t count on a road debris free ride, so 4×4 and large all terrain vehicle’s get the nod here. If I had a choice I’d have two rides. One jack up mall crawler truck with a big bed for hauling and a smaller bus outfitted with armor to carry people.

8. Fuel, Gasoline, propane, natural gas. Not only does this keep the wheels spinning it can provide light and power in some cases. Propane can be extremely useful in a barricade defense situation as well. Say you have a nice cement reinforced bunker as a safe house. The outside door can only be reached by traveling down a hallway. All you have to do is flank each side of the hallway with pipe with holes every half foot or so. Then pump the propane through there and create a nice fire trap. In the end, I think fire is one of the best means to stop zombies.

3. Food and water. This is often left out of the movies, but if you can manage to fight off the zombie hordes or barricade yourself up you’re eventually going to get hungry and thirsty. Water is paramount and drinking from an infected pond will not be a good idea. When you first make it to safety fill the bath tubes and sinks with water. You can boil it if the zombie infection has made it to the water supply or if its clean you will at the very least have a tube full of water if the water lines are shut off.

2. Weapons!!! If your mind immediately ventures to the land of shotguns and hand grenades bring it back to reality a second. You’re going to need a nice strong, reliable and as light as you can handle edged weapon. Think fireman’s axe here. Axe edges stay true for alot of hacking and even better no need to ammunition.

The axe is not only a great weapon, but a wonderful tool for setting up barricades or barring a door. Once you get the martial weapons out of the way you can focus on the firearms. Shotguns are of prime interest here, pump action being the most desired, then semi-auto and finally double barrel. The superiority of the shotgun should be clear, but if not. It important to know the projectiles scatter making head shots easier. Also, they are damn powerful. Handguns are also a fine thing to have as well, but should only be used as a shotgun backup. Most of the time should be spent foraging for more shotgun ammo or if your lucky, a shotgun shell refilling system. Something that looks like this.

1. GTFO. This may sound dumb, but let me explain. Leave the big city, get away from the malls! Flee from the cramped suburbs and head for the hills or the wide open pastures. The smaller the population the town the less zombies you will have to deal with. If you have wheels this is also great because you can get away before the shambling zombies can come find you. More likely they will be more than content just smashing up barricaded malls and houses in the city. A nice island would be great too. By island I mean Gilligan style, not Oahu.

I could have gone on, there are tons of things to add to this list. Its the priorities that change. If you are in the middle of nowhere maybe food and barricade material is more important than guns. Or obviously leaving. If you live in the middle of New York though, I’d suggest making you escape the first and most important goal.

Good luck out there and if this info saves your life some day, come back and leave a positive comment for me. My blog might become more popular if I was zombie.

EDIT (1/17): I just found this YouTube vid>